Pretty Pastoral

A girl and a farm.

Well, That Escalated Quickly…

Well… it’s been a minute. Some things have changed and some have not, but I’m back to type another day.

I was laid off from my job in retail buying in August, along with hundreds of other people from my company. I collected my severance and then switched over to unemployment while applying for jobs. My son’s 3rd birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the new year came and went. And 2020 seemed like the year things would come together – who couldn’t like 2020? So even! So pleasing to the eye! Everything’s coming up Milhouse this year, friends! And then?

Well, then it all went to hell.

In January, a friend of mine shared an article on Facebook about a virus causing chaos in China. In retail, we do a lot of direct business with China and get packages overnight all the time for product approvals. She expressed concern with opening packages knowing there was a new virus, and I fought my inner OCD demons and forced myself to say: that’s so silly. Nothing is going to stay alive on a package! I mentioned it to my husband and he shrugged it off. I was secretly glad I wasn’t opening packages anymore.

By February we knew that this was more than we’d expected. It was the last “normal” month, but we didn’t know that then. My mind was completely elsewhere, dealing with some complicated and disheartening news, applying for jobs, redecorating our bathroom, and chasing my little boy around our house as his winter-induced Space Madness reached peak levels.

Winter got us all like…

On March 4, I didn’t buy Clorox wipes or toilet paper at Costco. There had begun to be runs on these items, and I thought: maybe I should? I was victorious over the voice in my head that makes me overbuy cleaning items (even on normal occasions) and put my 6-pack of Clorox wipes back on the shelf. On March 6, the wipes were gone when I went back with my sister. On March 8, we skipped a family trip to the zoo. It was the first beautiful day of False Spring and half of the city of Chicago was headed to the zoo, which seemed like exactly the wrong idea for avoiding this weird new illness. I felt a little high-strung for not attending – like maybe I was overreacting – but my husband understood and we stayed home. On March 9, it rained all damn day. It was cold and wet and miserable – basically the perfect time to NOT interact with other humans. And that night I hit grocery shopping hard. Again, I felt a little crazy pushing my completely-full shopping cart around while people just grabbed a couple of items and gave me weird looks. Even by then, there were no cleaning products to be had. I grabbed the last 2 bottles of hand soap from the shelf. There was very little pasta or beans. Shit was getting real and weird. Real weird. I packed up my $300 grocery haul in the back of my car in the rain aaaaand my trunk wouldn’t latch. Damn it. I struggled with it both inside and outside the car while my lower half got completely soaked. I only had a quarter tank of gas but didn’t want to stop on the way home because I was tired and overwhelmed and freakin’ wet. I can get gas another time, I told myself.

Well friends, I haven’t left my property since that night – with the exception of a Walmart grocery pickup the next week that I didn’t leave my car for, and a bi-weekly start and drive to keep my car alive. I still haven’t gotten gas. And that’s where we are now. Hanging on to whatever shreds of sanity I have left and blogging again. OH – and Netflixing and online shopping. More on that later, guyzz!

 

Thirty-One, You Almost Got Me

About a month ago, I posted in one of the Facebook mom groups looking for a Thirty-One rep to buy a tote bag. Specifically, the large utility tote. My research had shown that this was the perfect size and shape for bringing to the pool, hauling loads of cupcakes to other locations, and helping to carry groceries from the car. Plus, those adorable prints! I got my first large utility tote (at a nice discount) and I fell in love. I quickly fell down the rabbit hole into obsession.

Once a get an idea into my mind, it’s tough to get it out until I act on it. This can be great for pressing through adversity, but decidedly less fruitful in other pursuits. If I decide that I need a green, cable knit sweater, I’ll be goddamned if I’ll rest unless it’s cuddled up wearing my new, green, cable knit sweater. I was quickly adding Thirty-One “likes” on Poshmark. I was contacting reps on Facebook and asking if they had certain prints. I got invited to a Bingo event. I even watched a few minutes of a Facebook Live. I was in deep.

Last week, my mother in law hosted a Thirty-One party for a family friend who recently got into the biz. Her ‘mentor’ was a woman who has been selling the product for about a year and a half and had a ton of stuff. As she excitedly told us all of the ‘thirty one uses’ for each product while passing bags around the circle of women in my mother in law’s living room, I thought “This is great. How cute is this bag? This would be perfect for…”

me, to myself.

I’m a former Tupperware rep, so I guess I’m an easy mark. Tupperware was fun for me. I got a bunch of free stuff, bought some discounted stuff, made a little money, and was on my way. But I can see how women are pulled into an inventory and debt black hole with this stuff. I still have Tupperware in my basement that has never been touched by human hands. Most MLMs say that they don’t want you to buy inventory to sell, but it’s hard to justify having a party where you look at a catalog of stuff you can’t touch or try. It’s tactile stuff, that storage and org. You need at least one of everything because who would buy a $50 bag they’ve never seen in person?

Image result for thirty one fall kit 2018

But that sign up package, tho! That’s pretty impressive. Lots of people sign on with these companies just for the discount and the onboarding package, and Thirty One totally has their number. They have two onboarding packages. The Signature Kit is $99 and includes some classics – things you’d actually use day to day – but not really any of the new and exciting ‘fashion’ items. This is the kit you buy if you just want a considerable discount for your own use. The second option, the Deluxe Kit, $179 and includes 2 versions of their new purse with zippered flaps you can change out (I don’t get it), another purse, a different pillow, and some totes and thermals. This is the kit you buy if you actually want to sell this stuff.

I admit that I got sucked in. For a few days I thought, “Should I just sign up? I’ll get a bunch of stuff, I can order some Christmas gifts, and then I’ll probably be done with my MLM venture.” It was enticing, for sure. I’m a bags girl and I love the idea of perfectly organized things in perfectly organized bags and totes for a perfectly organized life. My actual life, though – NOT PERFECT. The large utility tote I purchased a month ago? I have yet to take it to the pool (it’s the end of August, btw), I never remember to put it in my car when I go grocery shopping, and the last time I needed to transport cupcakes to a secondary location was actual years ago. The bags would be perfect for a multitude of things, but a multitude of things I mostly already own a bag for accomplishing. Rationally, I have a purse. I have a tote. I have a bag that clips onto my shopping cart (HELLO ALDI) and can be filled with groceries, then toted directly into the car. I did use my new tote for laundry and to take to a parade last week, but I have other things that could have accomplished that job satisfactorily as well. Things that do not cost upwards of $30.

Image result for too many bags meme

But honestly, I love the print! It makes me happy to look at and I enjoy owning it. As Marie Kondo would say, it sparks joy and is thusly considered ‘worth it’. Most of the stuff in that onboarding package? Not my dream prints. Not something that would spark joy and not ‘worth it’. That’s not to say I’m entirely purged of the Thirty-One bug yet, y’all. I think the basic products are good quality and useful. If the spring season brings cute prints that I absolutely adore it might be something I’d like to get down with. But for now? I’ll stick to purchasing useful things in prints I love.

A Small Announcement (Spoiler: I’m Pregnant)

So, it’s been a little quiet around here for the past 10 weeks or so. No, it’s not because I did that thing where you start a new blog and then after a few weeks the novelty wears off and you kind of forget it ever happened. No, that’s not what happened. Something else happened that has pretty much changed everything.

XdW3z2Z.jpg

OK, don’t be scared. I’m not going to reveal that I’ve been diagnosed with a frightening illness (knock on wood, please). But around mid-February, on the fourth anniversary of our first date (you celebrate that, right?), my husband and I found out that we were going to be trying on a new role: parents.

YESPREGNANT.jpg

It wasn’t a surprise or unplanned, just to put that out there. Just quicker than we’d expected. So there was that and everything kind of sped up from there. We told our families a couple of weeks later but didn’t tell the world until after the first trimester mark. It’s funny – I am one of those people who was all “What’s the big deal?” and then my natural, anxious, neurotic self came in and said “It doesn’t matter if it makes sense, just do what I tell you.” That side always wins because it has true, irrational fear on its side.

My employer was the next to know and since then, it’s been an interesting game of “Do you know or don’t you?” with pretty much everyone we know. I’ve had the one-on-one conversation with lots of my direct contacts at work and I’m guessing other people might know, or think I’m just getting fat. Both are true – my weight gain is mostly mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese.

I’ll make an effort to not have everything on this blog revolve around pregnancy the next few months, but some of it probably will. It’s a pretty major life change and it has severely curtailed my wardrobe overhaul. I’ve already bid a tender farewell to 3 pairs of jeans and worn jeggings to work. I’m on a mission for extra small, petite maternity clothes to get me through, but I’m faced with a challenge: I don’t want to spend a ton of money on maternity clothes, but I also don’t want to spend the next several months looking dumpy. If I thought dressing my regular, pre-pregnancy body was a challenge, this is a whole new ball game.

As the youngest of the youngest in my family and without any previous close-baby experience, I’ve also been introduced to this strange world of babies. It’s like a secret society that operates via blogs and a multitude of pregnancy tracking apps. Today I learned what a nipple shield is. Tomorrow, who knows? Also, I’m amazed at how many photos I’ve seen of women wearing nothing but a bra and panties while “showing off their bump.” Put something on, guys. You’re making me feel awkward about feeling like I need to tell you not to put mostly naked photos on the internet.

I’m off now to do about 30 minutes of cleaning and before I sit down for an inevitable nap. Exciting times, my friends.

 

Weekend Wins! 1/30-1/31

The weekend is over already! This weekend was a total whirlwind. My husband’s birthday was this past week and after much unproductive prodding about how he wanted to celebrate, I organized a surprise shindig for Friday night. After a delicious sushi dinner, we hopped in the car and started driving to our mysterious second location: a place he’s been asking to go for months. ‘And where might that be?’, you might be asking. A hot new bar? A swanky lounge? A place you might wear your own shoes? Oh no. We went a nice little night spot called the bowling alley. What is it with guys and bowling? I’m into bowling for the first couple of frames and then… shrugs. Bowling is the part that interrupts my conversation. It’s also where I catch up on recent music videos. Who knew Justin Bieber had so many current hits? Also, did my mom just type that?

oHEM4P.gif

Saturday night I was continuing my online search for a spring parka when I ran across this little number on American Eagle’s website. The AEO Cotton City Parka is on sale for $39.98, which is right in the jacket sweet spot for me.

0387_2047_309_of.jpg

Problem: the only size left online is an XXS. I ordered it anyway and am crossing my fingers that it’s not too small. Generally I wouldn’t be super concerned (especially in light of my continuing  struggle with too-large clothes) but stores that carry juniors sizing sometimes have actual tiny clothes for 12 year olds. I stopped into an “AEO” as the kids are calling nowadays and they had one remaining jacket in XS, which I tried as a size test. I might just be able to get away with that XXS. Will update when it arrives.

Since they offer free shipping with a $50 purchase and I was already mostly there (their strategy is working), I also ordered a nice, safe AEO Boyfriend Plaid shirt. I honestly don’t know what the sizing is like on these. Sometimes ‘boyfriend’ is code for ‘huge and shapeless’. I ordered an extra small so we’ll see when I get it.

aeo plaid copy.jpg

I almost never go into American Eagle Outfitters so while in today, I took a look at their clearance racks which were an awesome 70% off the lowest marked price. They had a lot of really nice sweater options but most of them are a small percentage wool blend – a huge bummer for me because I’m really sensitive (allergic?) to wool in pretty much any dose. I did manage to find 2 new chunky wool-free sweaters for a grand total of $22 (with tax) which was great. I might be an AEO convert.

Since I KonMari’d my wardrobe a few weeks ago, I’ve been seriously lacking in the jeans department. I got rid of anything I didn’t think was great or that didn’t fit me anymore (why do we hang onto those?). So I’ve basically been alternating 3 pairs of jeans. Today I picked up an alternative from J.Crew.

jeans1 copy.jpg

These J. Crew Factory Midrise Skinny Jeans are a great color and a good amount of stretch. They don’t have that thin legging-feel that some skinny jeans do and the accompanying signage claimed that they don’t stretch out super fast. We’ll see about that, but they are on sale for $59.50 which is not too shabs for a decent pair of jeans.

Last but certainly not least, I have a new coworker in my home office space. So far, Bort is a little camera-shy and looking rough from his stint at the pet store but seems to be adjusting well to his new home. Say hi, Bort.
bort.jpg

That’s all for me! How was your weekend?

 

 

The Beginning of the End (Of Clutter in Our House)

Last summer, my husband and I bought what we plan to be our forever home. We sold our townhome, neatly packed up everything we own in a little moving truck, and drove across town to begin our new life on our very own farm. Within weeks, our century-old farmhouse was perfectly decorated and we were living a life out of a magazine.

Except… not. Not at all. OK, let’s be real. When we decided to sell our 1800 sq. ft. townhouse, we actually had 2 garage sales. We dropped off straight carloads of stuff at Goodwill. We packed up the things we didn’t “need” right away and hid the mountain of boxes in the garage so they’d be out of sight for prospective buyers. Clean lines, uncluttered spaces, bright windows, coordinated color schemes. And every light in the house on. Buyers want to see your home at its best, not how you actually live in it.

But wait, isn’t that how you want to live in it, too?

After completing the last of many, many trips between our former house and the new homestead, it took us months to get all of our boxes out of the new garage. Our “slow and comfortable” move-in plan became “the never-ending stream of more stuff into the house” move-in plan. More stuff even when the stuff we already had was strewn across every surface. And now? The garage looks great. It’s our house that’s a wreck and I can never stay on top of it for more than a few days. Unexpected visitors are a source of anxiety for me. ‘They’ll see what our house looks like! Our real, actual house that hasn’t been cleaned up for their eyes!’ Girl, do you hear how crazy that sounds?

It was time for a change. On January 2, I marched (OK, well I drove… OK, well my husband drove me) straight to the bookstore and purchased one book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Japanese organizational queen Marie Kondo. I brought it home and read it within 24 hours. I know everyone says this about the book, but I’ve never felt more ready to lovingly throw all of my crap away. I’m envisioning my best life… and that life has really pretty lighting and does not include the absolutely horrendous Pinterest fail that is my “DIY Christmas ornament wreath”. Seriously you guys, it’s unforgivably ugly yet I continue to allow it live in my house.

You don’t have to read it. I’ll lay the basic KonMari philosophy out for you in this picture of a cat inside a Barbie VW bus.

konmari explained

Sure, there’s a lot of stuff about folding your clothes and thanking your socks and I’ll cover that a bit more in future posts, but at the end of the day that’s not really what it’s about. Being unhappy is a huge suck on your energy. Think about the last terrible job you had. You probably worked the same number of hours you worked at jobs you loved, or maybe just liked better, but dagnabbit if you weren’t exhausted by the time you got home every day. Things you don’t like do the same thing. They zap your energy and your enthusiasm and make you wander around your house looking at unpacked boxes, sighing and shrugging, then sitting down to watch 4 episodes of Law & Order: SVU (no? Just me?).

So I’m trying it on. You’ll see that a lot here, if you couldn’t tell from the title of this blog. A lady can try on way more than just clothes. I’ve already made some progress and I can’t wait to show the entire interwebs some super embarrassing pictures of my clutter and discuss what exactly “sparks joy” about my toothbrush.

Until then, eat your cereal with a fork and do your homework in the dark.

J.